Holidays - Keeping A Christian Attitude

written by divorceandchildren
12-07-2009
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Strange bed fellows, holidays and divorce. Holidays alone usually are stressful combine divorce; ex spouse and their families to the mix quite possibly this is a ticking time bomb ready to explode. If you, as the parent are feeling the stress of it all, imagine your kids! Not only are their parents not together but ultimately they are going to be dragged to that family members house that is not their other parent’s biggest fan.

“Pass the turkey” can be followed up with “So we hear your mom/dad has a new ______?” You fill in the blank, because there always is that one relative who has to ask your children a question regarding the ex on what and/or how they are doing. Of course your first instinct is to make some not so flattering comment about the ex and their resent life choices, but not only being the holiday season of thankfulness, forgiveness, peace on earth etc…your children are looking to you to defend their parent. Take that deep breath, respond to your inquisitive relative by saying “Oh, Joe/Jane have made some changes in their lives, which seem to be working well for them.” Then quickly change the focus and attention from your children and the ex, commenting on the weather or make a bad joke. Humor is a great way to change climate of the room, no pun intended!

I have found during the holidays to reflect upon my blessings and focusing on the positive aspects of life, letting go of the regret and anger of the past, reminding myself it is okay to forgive, not forget just keep looking to the future. Your kids will see this positive Christian attitude and come to regain the magic of the holidays by creating new traditions with both of their parents.